Hanging On

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That moment right before rock bottom when a rope drops from Heaven to rescue you.  You tug the rope to ensure security, and it falls at your feet because no anchoring force existed at the other end.  I am there.

Yes, I am well aware that the introduction was melodramatic.  Keep in mind that I am a poet, and my venting language will always sound unconventional.  Moving on.  This quarter has been a puzzle.  Mid-terms are already in full swing, and I made my schedule for next quarter today.  There is not enough time in each day.  I am working every possible minute except when I absolutely need sleep in order to stay at least 1% sane.  What lies before me seems an impossible task; I am working hard to diminish my current to-do list, but it keeps growing, creating an illusion that I am accomplishing nothing.  Have you ever had this same feeling?

I apologize that my past few blog posts have been so bleak, at least in comparison to Blogmas 2013 (my Christmas blog posts).  As a writer, I believe in total honesty therefore I do not embellish the truth to make it more appealing.  I write about my genuine feelings, whether depressing or pleasant.  I have heard that it is normal to feel unmotivated and stuck during the last few months leading up to graduation.

“The hardest push comes right before the reward.”

Let us all press on towards our current goal(s) together.  Keep your head up and eyes forward readers!

– Lauren Michele  :)

P.S.  Please do not forget to check out my new Youtube channel and subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCic1VLw_OuW2fzDQ88oi_AA/videos

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#GoGoldOrGoHome

Skalij, Wally. Gold medal winner Gabby Douglas competes on the beam in the women's individual all-around event. 2012. Photograph.

Skalij, Wally. Gold medal winner Gabby Douglas competes on the beam in the women’s individual all-around event. 2012. Photograph.

I watched The Gabby Douglas Story on Lifetime earlier this week and was really inspired.  Gabby had to push through one obstacle after another to fulfill her goal of competing in the Olympics.  According to the movie, being away from her mom and siblings on top of intense training created emotional stress that, for a period of time, drained her passion.  Her family and her coach talked to her, but she was the one who had to make the final decision.  She decided to keep going and went on to become the first United States gymnast to win an Olympic gold medal in both the all-around individual and the all-around team events.  She was also the first African-American female gymnast to win an Olympic gold medal in the all-around individual event.

Though our stories are different, I am reminded of my current situation living away from my dad and brother and attending college.  I feel like photography is no longer my passion, but I am determined to finish what I started to the best of my abilities.  Even if I do not want to become a world-famous photographer, I do want to feel satisfied that I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and succeeded.  I miss having my family together in one place, but I want to make them proud and show them that the past two years of struggle have not been in vain.  Because of them, I cannot justify being selfish, though I do admit that I do slip-up here and there.

Check your local TV listings for The Gabby Douglas Story or watch it here: http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/the-gabby-douglas-story/video/the-gabby-douglas-story

“Hard days are the best because that’s where champions are made…”  – Gabby Douglas

Go for the gold readers!

– Lauren Michele  :)

P.S. Please check out the new Lauren Michele Youtube channel and subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCic1VLw_OuW2fzDQ88oi_AA/videos

Full Speed Ahead

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The quote says it all.  The excitement of Christmas and the holiday blues are officially behind us.  February is only eleven days away.  It is time to press the gas and move forward.  Trust me, I am still in a “blah” mood, but I try to remind myself everyday that in order to make it to my college graduation in eight months, I have to complete and pass the remainder of my classes.  Therefore, full speed ahead!

I have a heavy homework load this quarter, but I will try my very best to maintain a consistent blog.  I am also working on my new Youtube channel.  Please check it out and subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCic1VLw_OuW2fzDQ88oi_AA

I was very scared to put myself on public display; a lot of hurtful things are said on social media.  But, I have had the idea for awhile and finally decided that I would never know if it was a bad idea unless I tried.  So far I am having fun despite the amount of work it requires.  I appreciate the support I have received on Tumblr and WordPress, and I hope you all will continue to support me in my new endeavor.  I also want to encourage you to try new things.  Do not not let fear and what ifs control your life!

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  – Neale Donald Walsch

“In spite of fear, do what you have to do.”  – Chin-Ning Nu

“I’m not what I have done.  I’m what I’ve overcome.”  – “What I’ve Overcome”, Fireflight

Stay motivated readers!

– Lauren Michele  :)

The Only Thing

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I promised a Christmas-depression rant, and I did not deliver.  I apologize to those of you who may have gone crazy from anticipation.  Going back to college after a month-long vacation proved to be more of a burden than I expected.  Warning: This post is a bit of a downer, but please bear with me.  At the moment I am fighting the demon that is fear.  I only have approximately eight months of school left until I graduate, and the pressure is building.  I started my first portfolio class today, and the teachers did an excellent job freaking me out.  For the next eleven weeks, I have to produce an impressive 30-50 image portfolio that will get me into the second and final portfolio class.  I have to impress a five-person committee twice; three of those people will be complete strangers who do not know me and are not connected to the photography program.  On top of that, I have to pass Western Civilization and three other photography classes.  Besides that, life is sunshine and roses.

I think I have been a downer for long enough.  How ’bout I post some quotes about fear in an attempt to lift the mood?

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“It’s not about being fearless, it’s about acting in spite of fear.”  – Veronica Roth, Divergent

Overcoming fear is a process as is deciding to overcome fear.  I am not suddenly feeling courage and strength being poured into me, but God willing that will happen soon.  At any moment the words of those three quotes will sink in, I will pull up my big girl pants, and I will do what I have to do.  Fear is scary to experience, but the underlying truth that we never want to admit is that fear is beneficial.  When has overcoming fear ever made someone more weak?

Stay fearful readers!  It is good for you, despite the terrifying process.

– Lauren Michele  :)

4 Days Until Youtube…

Cold Cold go Away

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Sooo… I was going to surprise my readers by posting my first Youtube video tomorrow.  However, I suddenly contracted a cold yesterday, today consisted of Kleenex, and hot tea, and I do not think tomorrow will be much better.  But, now you know that I am indeed starting my own Youtube show.  I have had this idea for a long time, and I finally built up the courage to do it.  I do not know how successful I will be, but I will never know unless I try.  It will have a lot of variety: discussions, reviews, tips, etc.  I hope that all of you will support me on this new endeavor.  I will warn you now that the vlogs will most likely appeal more to teen girls and young women, but I would appreciate your support nonetheless even if you do not watch.

I am off to sip hot mint tea and watch Fred Astaire in “Royal Wedding.”  I leave you with this quote: “Remember the tea kettle – it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings!”  – Anonymous

Stay well readers!

– Lauren Michele  :)

7 days until Youtube…

P.S.  School starts Monday.  That may or may not inspire a Christmas-depression rant from me.

84 Followers!!!

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Exciting news readers: The Lauren Michele Poetry blog now has 84 followers!  84 is a crazy number, one that I did not imagine possible when I started this blog. THANK YOU SO MUCH for taking time out of your lives to read my thoughts.  I hope to produce more frequent posts this year so please stay tuned.  I am so excited!  “Zero to Hero” from Hercules is currently on loop on Youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQX9DJaDZkY).

This year, I am graduating college and moving back to California, two major events.  Who knows where I will end up and what I will be doing when I get there.  Lots of things are floating around in my head, too much to think about now.  I am off to enjoy the last 4 days of my winter vacation (sad but true).  Life is about to go full speed ahead so I’d better buckle up!

Stay focused readers!

– Lauren Michele  :)

“A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.” – Elbert Hubbard