Early Morning Pondering

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I should most definitely be in bed considering I have had intense headaches on and off for the past three days.  However, here I am at 3am wide awake; my brain is working overtime.  Many changes have taken place in my life over the past three years, and the process has been overwhelming.  There have been moments when I chose to not think, ignore the problem, and pretend like everything is A-OK.  The emotional pain has been easier to deal with in parts.  I have a breakdown, struggle through the resulting depression, feel a little better, and wait for the next breakdown.  It is incredibly hard to move away from a place you called home for thirteen years.  No words can describe the pain of letting go of a life I thought I would have forever.  I never once considered that God would uproot me and my family and take away the house, the people, and the atmosphere I was familiar with.  Routines are my comfort zone.  Anytime change comes along, I panic.  Hence my earlier statement about shutting down and becoming a zombie.  I have no regrets about the jobs I accepted, the events I volunteered for, and the people I associated myself with.  I have vivid memories, both positive and negative; at least I have something to remember.  During this time of transition, social media has been a great tool for staying in contact with friends.  However, it has also been a window for watching life go on without me.  As I said before, I never once thought my life would change so drastically.  Now that my comfort zone is gone, I realize how much the small things meant to me.  For those of you who are letting go of something or someone right now, I am right there with you.  The process sucks, plain and simple.  Cling to the happy memories and the hope that something even better is right around the corner.  Oy vey!  That was cheesy enough to stop my tears.  But seriously, give yourself time to mourn and adjust.  I stayed up late Monday night eating goldfish and watching episodes of “Make It or Break It.”  I know, I know.  I am practically the conductor of the crazy train.  My point is that taking the time to do something you know will instantly make you happy works wonders for your mood.  One step at a time.  Breathe in, breathe out…

Image 1 Source: http://gifsgallery.com/tangled+lanterns+gif

Image 2 Source: http://mickeyandcompany.tumblr.com/post/58935992915/the-descending-lantern-that-rapunzel-lifted-back

This quote scares me to death, but I suppose that is a good thing: “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”  – Alan Watts

Think happy thoughts readers!!  :)

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– Lauren Michele <3

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The New Normal

Moving HouseDavis, Katy. Moving House. 2012. Web. 24 July 2015. http://www.gobblynne.com/blog/womans-weekly/.

Wow!  I really need to do a better job of balancing my blogs.  I set out to write an even amount of posts on each but always end up focusing on one or the other.  Sorry about that!  If you want to see what I have been up to, go check out my art blog: https://laurenmichelephotography.wordpress.com/

I am back and ready to do some reflecting.  My family has been reunited for 3 months and finally, as of earlier this month, live in a house.  We were previously living in a loft above someone else’s garage, a space meant for two people max (+ a small child).  It feels amazing to spread out, have my own room, and not live out of boxes.  There are many day-to-day things that I took for granted before.  I don’t want to make this some cheesy promise that my outlook has changed, and I will never take the small things for granted again.  I am human, and I will mistakes,  However, the adventure I have been on these past few years has definitely taught me to be grateful for the mundane.  I have an actual bed to sleep in, not an uncomfortable couch.  I have a closet and a dresser, not boxes and suitcases.  I have my own sink, and the shower has hot water.  I have plenty of space to exercise without tripping over a box or having to let someone pass me.  I have cable and Wi-Fi, not a DVD player and internet the speed of a snail.  I have kitchen appliances, not just a microwave for ramen and a refrigerator for sandwich ingredients.  I have the choice not to balance my plate on a pillow and eat on the couch because there is a table.  The list goes on and on.  Those struggles are nowhere near being the worst that could happen, but they were hard to go through just the same.  The past three years were not easy, but I will cherish the memories for the rest of my life.  Getting up at 4 am with my mom to hike and take landscape photographs for my portfolio so I could graduate college and reunite with my brother and dad.  Eating ice cream and watching movies with my mom in the one and only furnished bedroom in our old house.  Having Christmas dinner at a Mexican restaurant because the loft didn’t have a full kitchen.  Squeezing four people onto a three person couch for family movie night.

I must ride on to my next adventure (guess the reference, and we are instant BFFs).  Have a great week!  I will be back very soon.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.  It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”  – Vivian Greene

“Things may never go back to normal.  You may need to create a new normal.  And that’s okay.”  – Unknown

Go with the flow readers!

– Lauren Michele <3

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