Clark, Lily. 2011. Web. 16 June 2015. http://www.layouth.com/held-down-by-depression/.
Prepare yourself. I’m about to vent about some not-so-happy issues. Me and my mom recently relocated to the west coast to join my dad and brother who had already been living in that area for a few years. Because of college, the move was stretched out to three years for me and for my mom who selflessly chose to stay behind and help me. Words will never be able to express my gratitude! An impending out-of-state move is not easy to deal with while going through undergraduate education. As if the stress of daily homework and sleepless nights wasn’t enough, let’s throw in living out of boxes and without furniture. Fast forward to now. My family is currently sharing a mini apartment above a garage, a space I have nicknamed “The Loft”; it has one main room (a living room, table, and kitchen with no stove), one bathroom, and one bedroom (two small beds). In case you haven’t already done the math, four adults are sharing a living space meant to comfortably accommodate two people, perhaps two adults and one small child. I can’t complain because at least my family has somewhere to live. However, living in small quarters for an extended period of time is not a comfortable situation to be in. The cherry on top is I have no job, no money, and no car.
I am an introvert therefore it is important that I force myself to go out otherwise I wont do it at all. So far I am failing miserably even though living like a hermit is sucking the life out of me. I am pale from not going outside. I have no physical energy. I have way too much time to analyze and criticize myself. I am becoming even more uncomfortable around people. I am stressed to the point of regular migraines and anxiety attacks. In a nutshell, NO BUENO!!! Why the heck am I writing all this down on my blog?? Well, Tuesday was one of those days when I was stuck in the loft working on my laptop and stressing over my current project and life in general. Also, it was really hot outside, and heat is the worst possible antagonist on a stressful day. I doubt it is too late for me to get out of this awful cycle, but in my “Debbie Downer” brain, it is. Being social has not produced positive results in my life therefore I am very cautious. I am unfortunately comfortable in this way of life, but I know it is not a healthy way to live. The moral of this story is “Don’t live like a hermit if you have the choice not to.” The black hole does not magically disappear and replace itself with sunshine and rainbows; it only gets deeper. Find a happy medium between being yourself and living without regret. I am going to close with a list of things that make me happy. Let’s end on a positive note!
– Books –
– Dance –
– Disney –
– Fashion –
– Music/Singing –
– Water –
I spent the rest of the night playing a video game and watching a movie with my brother so I already feel much better. Keep moving forward, and don’t look back readers!
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” – Albus Dumbledore, “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkban”
– Lauren Michele <3
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