The Balloon & the Zipper | Blogmas 2016 🎄

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• 18 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

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I know I’m starting Blogmas six days late, but I have had quite the week.  I worked a long weekend then had possibly my worst day as a Youtuber yesterday.  I filmed three videos, lost two of them, hated the third, and burned my finger on a candle.  I am determined to maintain maximum holiday cheer so I’m going to get the party started with a hilarious story from my exciting job as a retail associate.

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Customer: I am a longtime customer. I only buy my jeans here. I’ve never had this problem before. I wore and washed my new jeans, and now the zipper won’t zip. I want to return them.

Me: Let me check the zipper first and see if I can do anything.

*A few seconds later*

Me: It looks like there’s something jammed inside the zipper.

Customer: I don’t see anything!

Me: It looks like gum.

Customer: I don’t chew gum!

*Strange object is pulled out after minimal effort*

Me: It looks like a piece of a green balloon.

Customer: I don’t own balloons!

Me: Oh! That’s strange. Well, the zipper works fine now.

Customer: Wow! Thank you! You just made my day!

I do what I can for the people. ;)

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VLOGMAS – https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUvowXnQBLryeHcwz801Rsx7d1upOgV8k

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11 DAYS UNTIL ARTMAS – https://laurenmichelephotography.wordpress.com

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– Lauren Michele <3

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Kids Say The Darndest Things

(Image Source: https://childdevelopmentgrp10.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/kids-tlking.jpg)

Despite feeling pain in every part of my body, I enjoyed my five-mile hike yesterday.  Here are two photos of what I saw:

Idyllwild

Idyllwild

I was with a group of people from my church that included three brothers.  Despite physical strain and heat, the boys kept the long hike fun.  I will start with two things the youngest brother said:

1. He and his mom were discussing something about his hand.  When she brought up his fingers, he promptly asked “Mom, aren’t these phalanges?”  I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud.  Phalanges??  Let this be a lesson to haters: Homeschool kids are smart!  Also, he isn’t older than four or five years old.

2. “Mom, who made the hills?”  “God made the hills.”  “Who made the bigger hills?”  “God made the bigger hills.”  “Who made the even bigger hills?”  “God made the even bigger hills.  God made all the hills.”  *Pause*  “Wow!  That’s a lot of work!”  If I had the capability, I would be typing a million laughing emojis right now.

Next up is the oldest brother Charlie.  Where has this kid been all my life??

1. He found and gave me a walking stick for when my hands got tired.

2. He told me if I fell down the mountain, he would catch me.  He added that it would be easy because I am lighter than him.  Major points for the weight compliment!  FYI, he is no older than seven or eight years old.

3. He asked me if I had ever been camping.  I replied “No.”  He then stated that when he grows up, he is going to buy a tent and take me camping.  How cute is that?!!

I am so glad I had the opportunity to be around kids.  I forgot how funny, witty, and intelligent they can be!  It is important to give children boundaries in order to keep them safe and teach them manners.  However, there is so much to learn from their curiosity and courage.  They question everything and jump without inhibition.

I hope you enjoyed this post.  Stay tuned for a very special fashion post coming soon.  Very soon.  Within the next 24 hours.  Get excited!

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– Lauren Michele <3

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In The Barnyard

In The Barnyard (Source: http://kindredspiritmommy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Shaun_the_Sheep_06.jpg)

Earlier this week, a friend of mine invited me along for a house sitting adventure.  The adventure was mine to have because my friend had already visited this house and barn many times.  I have seen farm animals multiple times in my twenty-one years of life, but feeding them was a brand new experience.  To be exact, there were five dogs, three cats, two doves, two horses, two donkeys, and a small herd of goats and sheep (approximately ten).  The first part of the afternoon was spent inside watching TV with the dogs.  Nothing especially exciting except for the new episode of Once Upon a Time (Any fellow Oncers reading this??).  Eventually it was time to go outside and feed the other animals.  It was raining, but I did not care one bit.  I was practically leaping out of my skin from excitement!  I put on boots and a large coat, and followed my friend’s lead out the door, over the little bridge, and into the barn.  After filling buckets with two kinds of feed, I volunteered to feed the horses (my favorite domestic animal).  I enjoyed every little thing: opening the gate, walking through the rain and mud, and filling the barrels.  What happened next was the real adventure.  I walked into the goat and sheep enclosure but left the feeding task to my friend.  Have you ever watched goats and sheep be fed?  They are greedy!  There were three bowls, and yet as soon as my friend moved on from one bowl to the next, the entire group would ignore the food in front of them and follow the bucket.  After giving the donkeys some feed, we made our way back into the horse pen.  The group of goats and sheep followed, and one particularly bossy sheep managed to push her way in.  She made her way over to one of the horses and watched it eat as though she was going to take part.  Like I said, GREEDY!!  As I made my way through the mud and attempted to herd the animal back to where she belonged, I could not help but laugh.  The seemingly annoying situation was actually a dream come true.  I felt like Anne of Green Gables trying to get her cow out of Rachel’s field with the help of her best friend Diana.  I managed to back the sheep against the gate but simultaneously had to keep the rest of the pushy herd out.  Teamwork prevailed, and all animals were where they were meant to be once again.  I really wish the chase was on video, but alas it is not.  All I have is the hilarious, muddy memory.  I hope I was able to paint a vivid picture and add some laughter to your Saturday night.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend readers!

– Lauren Michele :)

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Frozen Fitness

Frozen Fitness(Source: http://www.olivera.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/funny-pictures-winter-weight-loss-snowman.jpg)

If only losing weight was that easy!!  If you think I am about to give you an AMAZING workout routine based on a Disney movie about a queen with ice and snow powers, fear not!  Today we are discussing the struggles that accompany working out during winter.  I, like the majority of the world population, made a New Year’s resolution to exercise.  January was the easiest month, so far, to get through; I was motivated and determined.  February was an entirely different story.  My body suddenly decided to realize it is winter and go into hibernation mode.  I was tired all the time from the beautifully dreary weather, and preparing for a workout took extra time in order to overcome freezing temperatures and aching joints.  I hit a wall!  I saw results in January, but February was comparable to running up a hill of ice and expecting to reach the top.  My solution?  I kept going.  I know, I know,  That is a typical and boring answer, but it is the truth.  I got through February with the help of hot baths, layers of warm clothing, and stretching, and the accomplishment feels good.  It is too early to tell if March will be difficult, but I am finally starting to see results again so I am optimistic.  I know I am not the only one struggling with this issue so prepare for an extremely cheesy pep talk: We are in this together!!  You can do it!!  Next time you find yourself facing a workout whilst shivering uncontrollably, remember there are other people going through the same thing (in this case, me).  Don’t let the icicles win!!  Enough of this cheesy talk.  I am starting to annoy myself.  Enjoy the rest of your day readers!

“I believe in process.  I believe in four seasons.  I believe that winter’s tough, but spring’s coming.  I believe that there’s a growing season.  And I think that you realize that in life, you grow.  You get better.”      – Steve Southerland

– Lauren Michele :)

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Dresses and Llamas

February 26th, 2015(Source: http://www.buzzfeed.com/danmeth/a-tribute-to-the-memes-of-february-26-2015)

February 26th, 2015, a day made famous by llamas on the loose and a dress of many colors.  Congratulations America!  You have finally cracked.  In all seriousness though, the social media frenzy was amusing.  If you have no idea what I am talking about, allow me to explain starting with the llamas.  Three llamas were scheduled to make a therapy visit to an assisted living facility in Sun City, Florida.  They did indeed arrive and provided company for over an hour.  The handlers took the trio outside for a bathroom break, and that is when the hijinks commenced.  One llama got spooked and successfully attempted to break loose, followed by a partner in crime.  The pair ran around the city for an hour before being corralled.

All of my information came from this article by Fox News: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/02/27/llama-drama-2-loose-llamas-lassoed-after-running-amok-in-phoenix-area/

For more amusement, here is Fox 10 Phoenix video footage of the last 34 minutes of the llama chase: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIFZQlhg-SQ

Time for The Dress!!!  The following story originated in Scotland and resulted in a social media frenzy and worldwide debate.  A bride-to-be’s mother sent her a picture of the dress she intended to wear to the wedding.  The bride and fiance found themselves arguing over what color the dress was.  The bride posted the picture on Facebook to get outside opinions.  No one could agree on what color it was.  A friend of the bride saw the online debate and decided to take it one step further by posting the image on Tumblr.  The debate took over the internet!  Here is the dress:

The Dress(Source: http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/content/ktrk/images/cms/536706_1280x720.jpg)

What color duo did you immediately see??  If you saw white and gold, you are part of the majority.  If you saw blue and black, you are part of the minority.  Sorry majority!  It has been confirmed that the dress is blue and black.  I saw blue and black the first time I saw the dress, and I still see blue and black.  The only time I saw white and gold is when I looked at a white and gold dress first.

There is a scientific theory that explains why different people see different colors.  I honestly do not care because I see blue and black, and those are the actual colors.  However, if you want to know, here is a New York Times article on the science: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/02/28/science/white-or-blue-dress.html?_r=0

The Original Story: http://www.businessinsider.com/origin-of-white-gold-or-black-blue-dress-2015-2

As if the color debate was not amusing enough, the dress was found on amazon.co.uk, and gag reviews were posted.  This sounds ridiculous, but some of the reviews are actually hilarious.  Here are some of my favorites:

“As an eye doctor, I placed this dress on display outside my office, and business went through the roof!”  (Anonymous)

“The good: Works equally well as formal or business casual attire.  The bad: Carves a crooked path through perceptual reality and leaves behind it a wake of confusion and existential crises. Also unforgiving on the hips. ”  (Credit to Daniel Wallace)

“I was going to a fancy white and gold party. (It’s a thing) so I bought this dress because clearly, despite the item description, it was the perfect color combination of white and gold. How disappointed I was when half the people attending told me I looked crazy in what they said was a “black and blue” dress. To make a long story short, I am now scared, depressed, friendless, back on my psych meds, questioning my entire existence and filing for divorce tomorrow. I gave it 3 stars Bc the fit is fantastic!”  (Credit to Joli Fine)

 

If you would like to read more gag reviews, here is the link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Roman-Womens-Detail-Bodycon-Dress/dp/B00SJEUIME/ref=sr_1_1?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1425096246&sr=1-1&keywords=Roman+Women%27s+Lace+Detail+Bodycon+Dress+Royal+Blue

I hope that rather than boring you this post gave you a good laugh.  Have a great day/afternoon/evening readers!

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”  – Charlie Chaplin

– Lauren Michele :)

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