College Graduation – One Year Later

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One year ago today, I graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree.  I have struggled with doubt post-graduation.  My memories are vivid, but emotionally and physically I feel as though those three years never happened.  Sometimes a moment will suddenly come to mind and shock me; my response is “Oh my gosh!  That really happened!”  Feeling like the early mornings and sleepless nights never happened makes me doubt how hard I worked and if my achievement is really an impressive accomplishment.  I look at the people in my life continuing their education, and, in my brain, I look lazy in comparison.  Of course that is ridiculous, but I still struggle nonetheless.

On my first day of college,I spent my one hour break crying in a bathroom stall and telling my parents over the phone that I couldn’t finish.  They encouraged me to at least finish my first day and go from there.  I was focused on holding back tears the entire time, but I did make it through my second class.  The rest of the week was horrible, an experience I will never forget.  I slept on the couch and barely ate anything.  My fear was so intense, it made me physically ill.  It was a “Slower Than Molasses” process, but, week by week, I felt better.  I did not like my major.  There were photographers more experienced than me.  I had formal critiques every week.  Every step of the way, I felt like I was fighting against a wall.  I wanted to be anyplace but there, and yet I refused to let myself fail.  I survived!  I made it all the way through and walked a stage in front of a few hundred people to receive my degree.  It all happened so fast, but it did happen; I have the piece of paper to prove that.

Enough of the self-doubt and self-pity!!  I did not get myself through college.  God and the unwavering support of my family pushed and pulled me all the way to the finish line.

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Words will never be enough to express my gratitude. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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*** To those of you currently attending college, you are doing great.  Don’t give up!  You can make it through! ***

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*** To those of you who have graduated college, congratulations!  Please do not doubt yourself.  What you have accomplished took a lot of sacrifice, hard work, and dedication. ***

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Shout out to my fellow “Class of 2014” graduates!!  :D :D :D :D :D

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– Lauren Michele <3

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Busy Bee

Busy Bee                  (Source: http://www.sweettmakesthree.com/2012/05/how-to-start-a-blog/)

This was a very busy week for me.  I am currently an unemployed, recent college graduate.  In other words, I have a lot of time on my hands. I decided to go full speed ahead and post one blog post and one Youtube video every day this week.  It was tough, and I didn’t always get to bed before midnight, but I did it.  Well, almost.  My Thursday blog post took longer than expected to complete therefore it was posted early Friday morning.  The point is I feel accomplished for the first time in a long time.  That is all I have to say for today.  I will post the links to all the blog posts and Youtube videos I posted this week.

– Monday –

Matt Kaufenberg Marvel Art: https://laurenmichelephotography.wordpress.com/2015/05/04/matt-kaufenberg/

Best Friend Tag:

– Tuesday –

Project Pop Art: https://laurenmichelephotography.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/project-pop-art/

Covergirl Exact Eyelights Tutorial:

– Wednesday –

National Nurses Week: https://laurenmichelelifestyle.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/national-nurses-week-2015/

Blindfolded Makeup Challenge:

– Thursday –

Jennifer Lawrence + Dior: https://laurenmichelephotography.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/jennifer-lawrence-dior/

What’s in My Bag:

– Friday –

RIP Stalker: https://laurenmichelelifestyle.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/rip-stalker/

Best Friend Tag Part II:

Enjoy and have a great weekend readers!

– Lauren Michele <3

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Art Blog: https://laurenmichelephotography.wordpress.com/

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Hanging On

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That moment right before rock bottom when a rope drops from Heaven to rescue you.  You tug the rope to ensure security, and it falls at your feet because no anchoring force existed at the other end.  I am there.

Yes, I am well aware that the introduction was melodramatic.  Keep in mind that I am a poet, and my venting language will always sound unconventional.  Moving on.  This quarter has been a puzzle.  Mid-terms are already in full swing, and I made my schedule for next quarter today.  There is not enough time in each day.  I am working every possible minute except when I absolutely need sleep in order to stay at least 1% sane.  What lies before me seems an impossible task; I am working hard to diminish my current to-do list, but it keeps growing, creating an illusion that I am accomplishing nothing.  Have you ever had this same feeling?

I apologize that my past few blog posts have been so bleak, at least in comparison to Blogmas 2013 (my Christmas blog posts).  As a writer, I believe in total honesty therefore I do not embellish the truth to make it more appealing.  I write about my genuine feelings, whether depressing or pleasant.  I have heard that it is normal to feel unmotivated and stuck during the last few months leading up to graduation.

“The hardest push comes right before the reward.”

Let us all press on towards our current goal(s) together.  Keep your head up and eyes forward readers!

– Lauren Michele  :)

P.S.  Please do not forget to check out my new Youtube channel and subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCic1VLw_OuW2fzDQ88oi_AA/videos