Lost in Translation

Time for another story from the misadventures of Lauren Michele Stewart! Just kidding. This tale is actually very thought-provoking. *GASP*

Back in my college days Spanish dramas were my escape from reality, Isabel, Los Hombres de Paco, & Un paso adelante being my personal favorites. On top of that, I listened to a lot of Spanish music in an attempt to perfect my ear for the beautiful language of España. Never in a million years did I think that music and TV shows in another language would affect me around English speakers, but it did indeed happen. One day while I was in class, my ears started to interpret English in a different way. At first I thought I was just extremely tired, which is normal for a student, but careful listening proved that I was indeed hearing what sounded like the only other language in my life: Spanish. At one point I silently prayed that the teacher and students wouldn’t talk to me because I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. Even though I was hearing a familiar language, my brain wasn’t distinguishing the words. After a few minutes everything went back to normal, but I never forgot what happened.

The experience gave me a higher level of respect for both polyglots and immigrants learning a foreign language. I wasn’t necessarily scared or overwhelmed, but it was unexpected and left me feeling disoriented. I don’t necessarily have a moral or a mind-blowing message to share with you. I just thought the experience was unique, something I’d never heard of before. I wish my tongue had miraculously become bilingual in that moment and remained so. 😂 As a side note, I highly recommend utilizing television and music as immersion techniques for learning a language. I am by no means fluent, but I understand a decent chunk of Castilian Spanish. I refer to a specific type because that is what my ears are accustomed to; I have a very hard time understanding accents outside of Spain. 🇪🇸

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– Lauren Michele <3

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Brain Fog

I had an opening shift at work this morning.  I’m not even close to being a morning person so it was already bound to be a bundle of laughs.  On top of that, my mind was in an absolute jumble.  I misunderstood words I read and instructions I received, and I couldn’t form anything remotely related to the English language.  I was incredibly frustrated and near tears by the time I clocked out.  My mom explained that since I’m susceptible to low blood sugar, it was most likely due to the lack of nutrition in my system.  In other words, I didn’t eat breakfast, and I should have.  I know I should eat from now on, but I most likely wont.  Why?  Because I’m weird and don’t like eating before work.

In other news, I’ve felt really encouraged and motivated recently due to the rise in number of followers on my blogs and Youtube channel.  Thank you so much for your support!!  If you haven’t checked out any of my other links, everything is provided down below.  Aside from this blog, I have an art blog and Youtube channel, and I’m all over social media.  Follow me everywhere to receive the latest updates on what I’m working on. :)

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– Lauren Michele <3

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Life of an Insomniac

Oh.  My.  Gosh.  I have slept so well these past few weeks.  Of course that couldn’t last long.  The United States recently sprung forward one hour, and all my precious hours of sleep crashed & burned.  I thought I hated “Spring Forward” before, but in this moment, I absolutely 100% despise it.  I have tried all of my usual tricks: early bedtime, lavender spray, eucalyptus spearmint lotion, and reading a book.  Nothing is working!!!!!  I am beyond exhausted.  I have so many goals set in place for my blogs and Youtube channel, but working this past week has felt like beating my head against a wall.  I need sleep to function!!  I’m not fun to be around when I’m tired.  Actually, I’m not fun to be around when I’m well rested so scratch that last sentence. ;)  Hopefully tonight will bring peaceful sleep.  I need my rest.  I’m seeing “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” with my brother tomorrow.  Exciting!!

• This is what I’m dealing with: http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/ffs-go-to-sleep#.ox58pEjBGv

I know the holiday is basically over, but I wish you all a belated Chag Purim Sameach!!

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Dance Until The Music Stops

This is a difficult subject for me to discuss, but this blog is like my diary so I need to be honest.  I recently took on the project of turning my dance recital DVDs into digital files so I could put all of my routines into one video.  Doing so brought up a lot of good memories but also an equal amount of bad memories.  I am my own worst critique.  It is a rare occasion for me to watch myself dance and think that I did a good job.  Watching old routines makes me realize how hard a time I had as a dancer.  Was I a good dancer?  Yes.  Was I a great dancer?  No.  What made the difference?  Fear.  The biggest problem I see when I dance is my tentativeness.  I was never able to to dance without flooding my mind with doubts and fears:  “Do I look fat in this costume?”  “No one will watch me if I look fat!”  “Suck in your stomach!”  “Do I remember all the steps?”  “What if I forget the routine?”  “I’m going to forget something!”  “That was a terrible performance!”  “I never want to dance again!”  That’s the basic idea of my dancer’s brain.  Never stopping, never quiet.  Unfortunately, I fall into the category of dancers who’ve fallen prey to distorted body image and eating disorders.  I went to extreme lengths to lose weight.  I thought that if I looked more like a ballerina, I would improve at dancing.  At the time I thought my body was an eyesore, but now I realize I was indeed skinny.  I looked the part, but it wasn’t by healthy measures.  I loved to dance, but I could never overcome the obstacle of fear.  When I first watched “Riverdance” on VHS and saw Michael Flatley and Jean Butler dance, I had no reservations.  I just wanted to dance!  Somewhere along the way, I allowed fear to beat me down and destroy my passion.

“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.”  – Merce Cunningham

• On a happier note, I will forever be grateful for my dance mates.  No one understands the bond between dancers until you have navigated the ups and downs of dance with the same group for years.

I want to encourage boys, girls, men & women dealing with these or similar struggles.  Please don’t let fear run your life!  Take one step at a time and give your all to whatever you are doing.  Failure wont harm you so don’t be afraid to try.  If it doesn’t work out, don’t blame yourself.  When dance turned out to be a stepping stone in my life, I blamed myself for being fat and lacking talent.  The truth is God had always intended for me to turn my attention to something else.  Each and every one of us is dealing with obstacles.  You are not alone!

• It is time to start dancing with abandon & have some fun! :D

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcWPiHjIExA

• I leave you with wise words from a special group of vegetables. ;)

Source: https://twitter.com/veggietales/status/421387397167722496

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Dear Younger Self

(Image Source: https://worthyofagape.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/dear-younger-self.jpg)

Two nights ago, I had an eye-opening experience.  I couldn’t sleep so I decided to read through my old diary, and what I found shocked me.  I used vague language and failed to mention most of the significant events from my childhood.  There was no substance!  I am a writer; when the need arises, I express myself through words to vent and heal.  In my poetry journals, I was completely open about what was going on around me and how I was feeling.  However, those poems were written within the last five years.  My diary was started four years prior to my discovery of poetry.  Perhaps I’ve been watching too much “Criminal Minds” because I have an analysis.  I wont give explicit details, but I went through a lot mentally and emotionally.  My memories are crystal clear, but, based on my diary, I was not aware of how I was being affected.  I brushed aside contributing factors as minor annoyances.  I believe that repression is why, years later, I react so explosively; I am overcompensating for my silence in the past.  I don’t want to drag on so I will end with these words, a note to my younger self and girls who have gone through/are going through similar struggles:

“You feel ugly, fat, alone, and hopeless.  You have given up on yourself because no matter how desperate you are to speak up, you are afraid.  Let go of your emotions; allow yourself to scream and cry.  When you feel better, pick yourself up and start anew with your head held high.  It may feel impossible now, but you make it farther than your young mind can imagine.  Do not lose the fire inside of you.  Never stop fighting!”

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(Image Source: https://fightingchronicpain.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/never-stop-fighting.jpg)

(Image Source: http://media.giphy.com/media/qwj1znuklIGc0/giphy.gif)

“And all those things I didn’t say, wrecking balls inside my brain.  I will scream them loud tonight.  Can you hear my voice this time?  This is my fight song, take back my life song, prove I’m alright song.  My power’s turned on.  Starting right now I’ll be strong.  I’ll play my fight song.  And I don’t really care if nobody else believes ’cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”

“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc

                                   (Image Source: http://frenchpressmornings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Hebrews13.5.png)

(Image Source: http://megansmidt.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/jeremiah-29-11.jpg)

“In the midst of deep sorrow, I see Your light is breaking through.  The dark of night will not overtake me.  I am pressing into You.  Lord, You fight my every battle.  And I will not fear.  I am not alone.  I am not alone.  You will go before me.  You will never leave me.”

“I Am Not Alone” by Kari Jobe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfveawSAHJA

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I hope you feel better!  Feel free to talk and/or vent in the comment section.  This is a safe environment.  “See” you soon readers.  :)

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Don’t Forget Me

Don't Forget Me

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post. Jonathan Crombie, best known for his movie role as the beloved Gilbert Blythe, passed away on Wednesday, April 15, at the age 48; the cause was a brain hemorrhage. I grew up watching the Anne of Green Gables movies and dreaming of meeting and marrying my very own Gil. Me and my friends were so smitten with him that we had to designate an area specifically for freak outs; the “Jonathan Crombie Couch” will forever be a treasured memory of mine. I received an Anne of Green Gables music box for Valentine’s Day this year. At the time, the gift was thoughtful, but now it holds so much more meaning. God knew I would need a special reminder of Jonathan, my own personal piece of Gilbert. The following is a short statement given to the Canadian Press by Crombie’s Anne of Green Gables co-star Megan Follows:

“He was incredibly funny, Jonathan just had an amazing sense of humour,” she told The Canadian Press. “Truly I just remember at times just laughing so hard that you’d just be crying. He was so playful and silly and, as I said, really bright, so his humour was always informed with that, which made him even funnier.” Follows called Crombie a “sweetheart” and said a lot of the chemistry onscreen was natural during the filming of the movies. “He had that beautiful face. He was a lot of fun, he was very open so you just felt he was someone who really wanted to play and it really was a new experience for him,” she said, adding that the project was one of Crombie’s first. “We were all just in it to do the best that we could and we had a lot of fun.”  (Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/04/19/jonathan-crombie-megan-follows_n_7095258.html)  I think it is safe to say Jonathan’s version of Gilbert was not far from his true nature: playful and endearing.

It seems all too appropriate to mention some of my favorite Gilbert and Anne scenes from each movie. I have more than one in each film, but, for the sake of attention spans, I will keep the list short. In the first movie “Anne of Green Gables”, one of my favorite moments is the very last scene in which Gilbert sacrificially gives up the Avonlea school so that Anne can teach there and stay at home with Marilla. They exchange the following dialogue, recalling fondly what was originally an explosive and classic moment:

Anne: “Aren’t you worried? I’m liable to break another slate over your head.”                                                                                                     Gilbert: “I’m more worried I might break one over yours, carrots”

The scene starts at the 9:57 mark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPREdzRRRlY

In “Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel”, one of my favorite moments is when Gil and Anne are FINALLY a couple, and they are standing on a bridge discussing their future:

Gilbert: “It’ll be three years before I finish medical school. Even then there won’t be any diamond sunbursts or marble halls”                     Anne: “I don’t want diamond sunbursts, or marble halls. I just want you.”

The scene starts at the 9:20 mark: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZW6eBrWH9w

In the third and final film “Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story”, my FAVORITE moment has to be, of course, the scene when Anne and Gil are reunited after her arduous search during World War I. Anne is on a stage with two friends singing for soldiers; they are singing “Let Me Call You Sweetheart”, Gil and Anne’s wedding dance song. As she is scanning the crowd, Anne spots a familiar, beloved face. Running ensues as well as a heartwarming reunion. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8dc9kqaXBI

Quotes Source: http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0040057/quotes

I want to give my condolences to all of Jonathan’s loved ones. My heart goes out to you, and you are in my prayers.

Jonathan: You embodied a classic book character, a portrayal that was truly a gift to the film industry. You will always be remembered and loved as Gil in the hearts of your fans. Rest in peace.

Don't Forget Me

The “Anne of Green Gables” family could never forget you!! <3 <3 <3

– Lauren Michele :)

” You know, every day I would pick a different memory of you and play it over and over and over again in my mind, until every hair, every freckle, every part of you was exactly as I remembered.” – Gilbert Blythe, “Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story”

Music Box: http://shopatsullivan.com/love-music-box.html

25 Times Gilbert Blythe From “Anne of Green Gables” Melted Your Heart: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/gilbert-blythe-forever#.nrVw65xlB

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